Going through a divorce can be a difficult time for each spouse and – most importantly – the children of the family. Emotions are run high, and while you are in the midst of a life altering situation you may not be thinking of your children when making decisions. It’s important to keep kids out of the confrontational parts of your divorce, but it’s imperative to ensure they understand what’s happening, know it’s not their fault, and are reminded that both parents are always there for them.
Being able to settle a divorce amicably is important not only for the relationship you’ll have with your partner but also for your relationship with your children. Talking about divorce with your kids may seem daunting, but it’s a huge first step to moving forward in this next phase of life.
Keep Up with Routines
Stability is an important part of children’s lives. Though things like where parents and children may live as well as custody agreements may change, try whenever possible to keep your kids’ daily and weekly routines stable and familiar. Studies show that when children know what’s expected of them and are able to count on a routine, they are more likely to be well-adjusted and overall happier.
Listen
When talking to your children about divorce, it’s also important to stop and listen to what your kids are saying. They may not understand their initial feelings and may be confused, but by listening and reassuring them that your divorce is not their fault, you will help ease their concerns about the future.
Be Reliable
With so many things changing in your children’s lives, parents should try to be as consistent as possible. Be sure that you’re only making promises you intend to keep. Finding consistency and reliability will be a big part of how your children navigate the changes in their lives, so do your best to implement those moments whenever possible.
Align with Your Partner
With children spending time with each parent individually, you should be sure to agree in advance on bedtimes, curfews, and other daily decisions, as well as any discipline. By staying as a united front, your children will understand that even though the family structure has changed, they won’t be able to take advantage of the situation.
Shield Children from Conflict
Lastly, remember not to involve your children in any conflicts between you and your spouse. Because you’re looking to stay consistent and be viewed as a united front, you’ll never want to argue with or talk negatively about your spouse in front of your children.
The ability to incorporate the above tips into your divorce conversation with your children is a good foundation to build with your ex-partner. Divorces can be messy, and emotions tend to run high. Using an experienced family lawyer throughout the divorce process is important, as we can mediate any arguments and help both spouses come out of the process with good sentiments for the other person.
Do you need legal assistance for divorce or other issues related to family law?
At Andersen, Tate & Carr, our attorneys are dedicated to reaching the best possible outcome for our clients. Trinity Hundredmark heads our Domestic Relations Division. She is an experienced attorney with more than a decade of experience representing clients. For more information, or to request a virtual case evaluation, contact our law office at 1-770-467-3205.